The Appearance of Holiness
August 28th, 2007 by Sonja

Erin (Decompressing Faith) and Lynn (Beyond 4 Walls) have organized a Synchroblog for today about prayer. Lynn asked a question on Emerging Women about how our prayer life has changed or emerged as our faith has morphed and changed. This lead to a conversation and then an invitation and now we’re all writing about how our prayer life.

I will lead with a confession. My prayer life stinks. I have perfected the language of the appearance of holiness in this regard, but the reality is … I suck. I am terrible at maintaining relationships with flesh and blood people so how can I maintain a relationship with an ephemeral God?

Of all the parts of my faith life my prayer life is the most shriveled. I am not constant. I cannot find quiet space. I have lots of excuses for this. I homeschool. My husband works from home. There is no quiet time or space ever in my life (unless I wake up at some unGodly hour). But those are excuses. The truth is … I find excuses. I find rationale. This has always been the case for all of my life. That is what I learned in the evangelical church in which I “grew up;” in which I spent the first 14 years of my faith life.

I learned how to pray spontaneous prayers. I learned about having quiet time. I learned that both are requirements for a thriving life of faith in a Christian community. I had neither. I still have neither. My prayer life is shriveled and barren. I do not pray in public unless the Holy Spirit takes over and gives me words that I must speak.

But …

There are some bright spots on the horizon.

Since leaving the evangelical church I have found some old and different ways of praying that have helped. My favorite is the Lord’s Prayer. Some days I just say that to myself at various times throughout the day. There are days when that is all I have. Some days even that is in tatters and I just have pieces of it.

I’ve discovered that liturgy is a balm for me. I know that this is not true for everyone. But for me repetitive prayers become healing and allow God to speak into my life in ways that I have not found before. My favorite book for these is the Celtic Book of Daily Prayer. When I had my nervous breakdown in Jan. 2006 I asked my family to engage in praying the hours with me. That became a lifeline for me. I loved those prayers every day. My family … not so much. I would love to begin having morning and evening prayers again several times a week. I find that communal/familial engagement is helpful for me.

The other thing that has become helpful for me is to engage with God during the times when my hands are busy but my mind is not. These are times like when I’m sewing, or cleaning or taking a shower. When I’m involved in a repetitive task that doesn’t take any thought (or very little) I find myself engaging in thought prayer and being able to listen/meditate as well. I sometimes have a snippet of a liturgical prayer or song that repeats while I’m thinking or listening. Sometimes I’m having an active conversation. Sometimes I cry out.

So, my prayer life looks nothing like what I was taught and I think it could be better. But … for right now, it’s what it is. I’ll leave you with my favorite prayer from the Northumbrian Community:

Lord, You have always given
bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
strength for the coming day;
and though we are weak,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept
me safe in trials;
and now, tried as we are,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked
the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened
this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken
when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now,
today I believe.

Please visit these other “How Do You Pray” Synchroblog participants.
Cindy Bryan Teach Me to Pray…Again?
Lyn Hallewell God, Prayer and Me
Erin Word Prayer=Sex with God
Rick Meigs Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper
Alan Knox Pray without Ceasing
Julie Clawson Prayer Synchroblog
Heather Synchroblog Prayer
Alex (Heather’s Husband) Prayer Synchroblog II
Lydia How Do You Pray
Che Vachon My Thoughts…
Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again
Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness
Jon Peres How Do I Pray?
Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer
Susan Barnes Synchroblog: How Do You Pray?
Brother Maynard Fear Not the Silence
Nate Peres How Do I Pray?
Barry Taylor Synchroblog:How Do You Pray?
Emerging Grace Clearance Sale on Intercession Books
Jim Lehmer Synchroblog – How Do You Pray?
Lew A How Do You Pray? – Synchroblog
Jon Hallewell When I’m Spoken To
Deb Prayer Synchroblog
Barb Prayer without Throwing Things
Patti Blount How Do I Pray
Doug Jones How I Pray
Glenn Hagar Prayer Phases
Pam Hogeweide The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality
Mary How Do I Pray?
Rhonda Mitchell Prayer SynchroBlog
John Smulo Praying Naturally
Rachel Warwick How Do You Pray?
Barbara Legere How to Not Pray
Jonathan Brink Posture – Sitting With My Daddy
Andy How Do I Pray
Cynthia Clack How Do I Pray
Makeesha Fisher The Mystery of Prayer
Joy Synchroblog:Prayer


27 Responses  
  • Erin writes:
    August 27th, 200710:35 amat

    That’s a beautiful prayer. I tell you, people are going to get me to try liturgical prayer yet. Haven’t done that since I was a girl.

    I don’t think our prayer lives are supposed to “look like” anything other than communion with God. However that works for any one of us is all good. The point isn’t the “how”, it’s simply the “doing”.

           
  • Bill Kinnon writes:
    August 27th, 200711:05 amat

    Thanks for the honesty and for the Northumbrian Community prayer.

    I have experienced the power of prayer throughout my Christian life, but confess that I find myself in a season of prayerlessness. Thank God for the faithful prayers of my family and friends.

           
  • cindy writes:
    August 27th, 200711:43 amat

    sonya- i homeschool and my husband works from home too. it’s good to know there’s somebody else out there facing that particular set of challenges!

    that aside- thank you for this post. the prayer is beautiful, and so is your honesty. “it is what it is” is very similar to where i am as well.

           
  • Rick Meigs writes:
    August 27th, 200711:43 amat

    What an encouraging post. Thanks. I think I need to get a copy of the “Celtic Book of Daily Prayer.”

           
  • lyn writes:
    August 27th, 200711:56 amat

    Thanks for sharing Sonja, as ever your writing is enchanting. I know a lot of people are really blessed by using celtic prayer. I occassionally visit the Northumbria community. I like the canticle:

    Christ, as a light
    illumine and guide me.
    Christ, as a shield
    overshadow me.
    Christ under me;
    Christ over me;
    Christ beside me
    on my left and my right.
    This day be within and without me,
    lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
    Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
    in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
    This day be within and without me,
    lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
    Christ as a light;
    Christ as a shield;
    Christ beside me
    on my left and my right.

           
  • Synchroblog - How Do You Pray? : Beyond the 4 walls writes:
    August 27th, 200712:20 pmat

    […] participating in the synchroblog today are: Cindy Bryan Teach Me to Pray…Again? Lyn Hallewell God, Prayer and Me Erin Word Prayer=Sex with God Rick Meigs Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper AlanKnox Pray without Ceasing Julie Clawson Prayer Synchroblog Heather Synchroblog Prayer (Heather’s Husband) Prayer Synchroblog II Lydia How Do You Pray Che Vachon My Thoughts… Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness Jon Peres How Do I Pray? Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer Susan Barnes Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? Brother Maynard Fear Not the Silence Nate Peres How Do I Pray? Barry Taylor Synchroblog:How Do You Pray? Emerging Grace Clearance Sale on Intercession Books Jim Lehmer Synchroblog – How Do You Pray? Lew A How Do You Pray? – Synchroblog Jon Hallewell When I’m Spoken To Deb Prayer Synchroblog Barb Prayer without Throwing Things Patti Blount How Do I Pray Kathryn Joy John Smulo Mary Michael Holcomb Cynthia Clack Rachel Warwick Glenn Hagar Andy […]

           
  • Perigrinatio » how i pray (synchroblog) writes:
    August 27th, 200712:30 pmat

    […] Calacirian Lyn Hallewell Cindy Bryan […]

           
  • Paul writes:
    August 27th, 20071:30 pmat

    thanks sonja, im finding using other prayers so much more helpful, particularly when i’m going through times of ‘sucking’ big time trying to pray by myself. I’m finding the Lord’s prayer, especially helpful (maybe as that is one of the few prayers by other people i know by heart)

           
  • Barry writes:
    August 27th, 20074:27 pmat

    I love the Northumbria Community prayers too. I have the book, but they are also available online (including the day’ scripture readings, meditations etc.) HERE.

           
  • Prayer Helps That Get Me Deeper » The Blind Beggar writes:
    August 27th, 20077:18 pmat

    […] Sonja Andrews – The Appearance of Holiness […]

           
  • How do I Pray? « A Life Profound writes:
    August 28th, 20077:21 amat

    […] Barbara Legere How to Not Pray Jonathan Brink Posture – Sitting With My Daddy Andy How Do I Pray Cynthia Clack How Do I Pray Makeesha Fisher The Mystery of Prayer Kathryn Joy MichaelHolcomb […]

           
  • Cynthia writes:
    August 28th, 200711:29 amat

    Practicing the Divine Hours after my Daddy died was my lifeline as well. I have looked at the Celtic Book of Prayer and love it as well. Discovering those liturgical prayers is what brought me into this intimate ongoing conversation with God.

           
  • Posture - Sitting With My Daddy « Missio Dei writes:
    August 28th, 20071:00 pmat

    […] A few others: Cindy Bryan Teach Me to Pray…Again? Lyn Hallewell God, Prayer and Me Erin Word Prayer=Sex with God Rick Meigs Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper Alan Knox Pray without Ceasing Julie Clawson Prayer Synchroblog Heather Synchroblog Prayer Alex (Heather’s Husband) Prayer Synchroblog II Lydia How Do You Pray Che Vachon My Thoughts… Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness Jon Peres How Do I Pray? Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer Susan Barnes Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? Brother Maynard Fear Not the Silence Nate Peres How Do I Pray? Barry Taylor Synchroblog:How Do You Pray? Emerging Grace Clearance Sale on Intercession Books Jim Lehmer Synchroblog – How Do You Pray? Lew A How Do You Pray? – Synchroblog Jon Hallewell When I’m Spoken To Deb Prayer Synchroblog Barb Prayer without Throwing Things Patti Blount How Do I Pray Doug Jones How I Pray Glenn Hagar Prayer Phases Pam Hogeweide The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality Mary How Do I Pray? Rhonda Mitchell Prayer SynchroBlog John Smulo Praying Naturally Rachel Warwick How Do You Pray? Barbara Legere How to Not Pray Andy How Do I Pray Cynthia Clack How Do I Pray Makeesha Fisher The Mystery of Prayer […]

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20076:56 pmat

    Hi Erin …

    All I can say is … Try it, you’ll like it 😉 … hehehe … or maybe not. Liturgical prayer is not for everyone. But it has helped me enormously. It has helped me hear God speak through those streams of living water that She has spoken throughout history. But you may not need that. Sooo …

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20076:59 pmat

    Bill … I hope your dry season ends soon … I’d tell you I’ll be praying for you, but well … ummm … I’d probably fail. I’ll remember you when I’m sewing and cleaning and having my conversations. It’s about the best I can do these days.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:01 pmat

    Hey Cindy … welcome to the club! We’ll have to get together off line and compare notes sometime. As in what does your husband do? And how old are your kids? Etc. … it does present a particular set of challenges, eh? Like how to keep a house presentable when everyone is **always** in it?

    Thank you for your encouraging words … I do appreciate them.

           
  • Paul Walker writes:
    August 28th, 20077:02 pmat

    Thanks for sharing so honestly Sonja. I was at the Northumbria Community home just a few weeks ago, so that prayer brought back some sweet memories :)

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:04 pmat

    Thank you, Rick. I would encourage you to get a copy of Celtic Daily Prayer. Well … actually I’d encourage everyone to get one, but that might be overdoing it. Not everyone would get something out of it. But it is quite good. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I do think you’d enjoy it. So … that may be helpful. :)

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:05 pmat

    Oh, Lyn, that’s my next favorite prayer … the Breastplate of St. Patrick. I love that very much … thank you for posting it here.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:09 pmat

    Hi Paul …

    I do love the Lord’s Prayer. Sometimes I just do “Your will be done … and that’s all I can do over and over again. It’s more of a moan, because I’m heartbroken in that case, but I guess it’s something. I just pray God’s will … because I’ve got nothing left.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:10 pmat

    Hi Barry, thank you so much for that link. I’ve use their website in the past. But I didn’t realize they’d posted the readings for the day. I haven’t been there recently. That’s a huge help.

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 28th, 20077:14 pmat

    Hi Cynthia …

    Thanks for visiting. The celtic prayers have a special place in my heart because I love the emphasis on the trinity. I love how holistic they are and how they speak to the whole person and help you to pray about a whole issue. They also seem to help you focus on the small bits of life as well as the large things. I love that … it helps me to see that all of my life is in God’s hands.

           
  • Paul Walker writes:
    August 29th, 20073:51 amat

    Hello Sonja

    Thank you for sharing in such an honest way – the good and the bad. I was at Northumbria Community just a few weeks ago, and we used that very prayer. So it was sweet to have a reminder of that visit :)

           
  • Sonja writes:
    August 29th, 20077:51 amat

    Ohhhh Paul … that’s one of my dreams … to make a visit to the Northumbria community and just drink it all in. One day ….

           
  • Not Neat, But Very Cool « re-dreaming the dream writes:
    August 29th, 20071:34 pmat

    […] Here is an updated list of the participants. Alan Knox – The Assembling of the Church – Pray without Ceasing Alex – Deconstructed Christian – Prayer Synchroblog II Andy – A Mile From the Beach – How Do I Pray Barb – A Former Leader’s Journey – Prayer Without Throwing Things Barbara Legere – Prodigal Daughter – How to Not Pray Barry Taylor – Honest Faith – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? Brother Maynard – Subversive Influence – Fear Not the Silence Che Vachon – ThisStream – My Thoughts… Cindy Bryan – Run With It – Teach Me to Pray…Again? Cynthia Clack – A Life Profound – How Do I Pray Deb – Another Unfinished Symphony – Prayer Synchroblog Doug Jones – Perigrinatio – How I Pray Erin Word – Decompressing Faith – Prayer=Sex with God Glenn Hagar – Re-Dreaming the Dream – Prayer Phases Grace – Emerging Grace – Clearance Sale on Intercession Books Heather – Deconstructed Christian – Synchroblog Prayer Jim Lehmer – Lord I Believe, Please Help My Unbelief – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? John Smulo – SmuloSpace – Praying Naturally Jon Hallewell – Life-Shaped Faith – When I’m Spoken To Jon Peres – Something Else – How Do I Pray? Jonathan Brink – Missio Dei – Posture: Sitting With My Daddy Joy – My Emerging Faith – Synchroblog: Prayer Julie Clawson – One Hand Clapping – Prayer Synchroblog Larry – Last Exit Before Oblivion – Prayer is Weird Lew A – The Pursuit – How Do You Pray? Synchroblog Lydia – The Nunnery – How Do You Pray Lyn Hallewell – Beyond the 4 Walls – God, Prayer and Me Makeesha Fisher – Swinging from the Vine – The Mystery of Prayer Mary – One Thing is Needed – How Do I Pray? Nate Peres – Defined – How Do I Pray? Pam Hogeweide – How God Messed up my Religion – The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality Patti Blount – Here Comes the Groom – How Do I Pray Paul Mayers – One for the Road – Praying and Learning to Pray Again Paul Walker – Out of the Cocoon – One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer Rachel Warwick – Not Where Next but Where Now – How Do You Pray? Rhonda Mitchell – Rhonda’s Blog – Prayer SynchroBlog Rick Meigs – The Blind Beggar – Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper Rick Stilwell – Mmm…That’s Good Coffee – Push Rob McAlpine – RobbyMac – Synchro-Prayer Sonja Andrews – Calacirian – The Appearance of Holiness Susan Barnes – A Booklook – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? […]

           
  • How Do You Pray: Synchroblog « Faith Labyrinth writes:
    October 20th, 20075:22 pmat

    […] Alan Knox – The Assembling of the Church – Pray without Ceasing Alex – Deconstructed Christian – Prayer Synchroblog II Andy – A Mile From the Beach – How Do I Pray Barb – A Former Leader’s Journey – Prayer Without Throwing Things Barbara Legere – Prodigal Daughter – How to Not Pray Barry Taylor – Honest Faith – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? Brother Maynard – Subversive Influence – Fear Not the Silence Che Vachon – ThisStream – My Thoughts… Cindy Bryan – Run With It – Teach Me to Pray…Again? Cynthia Clack – A Life Profound – How Do I Pray Deb – Another Unfinished Symphony – Prayer Synchroblog Doug Jones – Perigrinatio – How I Pray Erin Word – Decompressing Faith – Prayer=Sex with God Glenn Hagar – Re-Dreaming the Dream – Prayer Phases Grace – Emerging Grace – Clearance Sale on Intercession Books Heather – Deconstructed Christian – Synchroblog Prayer Jim Lehmer – Lord I Believe, Please Help My Unbelief – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? John Smulo – SmuloSpace – Praying Naturally Jon Hallewell – Life-Shaped Faith – When I’m Spoken To Jon Peres – Something Else – How Do I Pray? Jonathan Brink – Missio Dei – Posture: Sitting With My Daddy Joy – My Emerging Faith – Synchroblog: Prayer Julie Clawson – One Hand Clapping – Prayer Synchroblog Larry – Last Exit Before Oblivion – Prayer is Weird Lew A – The Pursuit – How Do You Pray? Synchroblog Lydia – The Nunnery – How Do You Pray Lyn Hallewell – Beyond the 4 Walls – God, Prayer and Me Makeesha Fisher – Swinging from the Vine – The Mystery of Prayer Mary – One Thing is Needed – How Do I Pray? Nate Peres – Defined – How Do I Pray? Pam Hogeweide – How God Messed up my Religion – The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality Patti Blount – Here Comes the Groom – How Do I Pray Paul Mayers – One for the Road – Praying and Learning to Pray Again Paul Walker – Out of the Cocoon – One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer Rachel Warwick – Not Where Next but Where Now – How Do You Pray? Rhonda Mitchell – Rhonda’s Blog – Prayer SynchroBlog Rick Meigs – The Blind Beggar – Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper Rick Stilwell – Mmm…That’s Good Coffee – Push Rob McAlpine – RobbyMac – Synchro-Prayer Sonja Andrews – Calacirian – The Appearance of Holiness Susan Barnes – A Booklook – Synchroblog: How Do You Pray? […]

           
  • How do I Pray? « A Life Profound writes:
    August 10th, 200811:14 pmat

    […] Lydia How Do You Pray Che Vachon My Thoughts… Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness Jon Peres How Do I Pray? Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with […]

           


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