The Bogeyman
Aug 4th, 2005 by aBhantiarna Solas

So, I’m alone for a few days. It’s interesting. I’m not sure it’s all it’s cracked up to be. I was looking forward to it, but now I think I’d like to push the rewind button … the do-over button. If you’ve ever done the Myers-Briggs type indicator, I’m an “I” for introvert. This does not mean that I sit around in corners, but it does mean that I need significant alone time to recharge my batteries … that being with people drains my batteries and being alone recharges me. So … after these couple of days I should be on FULL UP! However, I’m thinking (after my one day) that perhaps this is something I need in smaller doses. That teaspoons on a daily basis, rather than gallons once a year, might be a better way to approach it.

For instance, here is one unforseen hurdle. Night time. And. The bogeyman. Perhaps you remember him? Well, I met him again last night. At 11:23. When I attempted to go to sleep without anyone else in the house, including the dog. Just me. And 9 fish (more or less).

The first time I met the bogeyman, I was about 8 or 9 and he was lurking on the porch roof outside my window. He was going to steal me from my family. Kidnap me. And force me to steal things from stores! Oh, the horrors. Sometimes he also lurked under my bed … but mostly he was on the porch roof that was right outside my window.

Later, when I was in college, I came to Washington, DC for a semester at American University. Some friends of friends of our family asked me to housesit their lovely home in a toney upper NW neighborhood. Very safe. Except … remember where I grew up. Walton’s Mountain. That first night in their house, the bogeyman came back and re-introduced himself. So I did the only sensible thing for a single young woman on her own in the big city. I found the largest knife I could (I think it had about an 18″ blade) and put it on a chair next to my bed. Then I turned on every light in the house, except for in my room. And the television. And the stereo. And the radio. And the clock radio in the kitchen. And I went to bed at about 2 a.m. The next night a young man of my aquaintance kindly offered to help keep the bogeyman at bay. But we all know he was interested in other things. He left in the wee hours of the morning; both of us frustrated because neither of our objectives had been met.

After that, I graduated from college, moved to DC and got a studio in a bad apartment building (a renovated Mt. Pleasant rowhouse) with no security except a rickety deadbolt and lived there for 2 years with no qualms and no visits from the bogeyman. I came and went as I pleased and it would have scared my parents to death if they’d ever seen that place. I felt completely safe … so what gives now that I live in safe suburbia? Is it that I’m old? That I watch too much Law & Order? hmmm ….

Now, however, I have learned a little bit about the bogeyman and myself. I’ve learned somethings about how to outwait him with the tv on. So I got a little more sleep. Tonight will be a little easier too as I get more used to it all. I may also borrow a friend’s dog.

Poetry Thursday – Kipling
Aug 4th, 2005 by aBhantiarna Solas

Natural Theology
Rudyard Kipling

Primitive

I ate my fill of a whale that died
And stranded after a month at sea. . . .
There is a pain in my inside.
Why have the Gods afflicted me?
Ow! I am purged till I am a wraith!
Wow! I am sick till I cannot see!
What is the sense of Religion and Faith :
Look how the Gods have afflicted me!

Pagan

How can the skin of rat or mouse hold
Anything more than a harmless flea?. . .
The burning plague has taken my household.
Why have my Gods afflicted me?
All my kith and kin are deceased,
Though they were as good as good could be,
I will out and batter the family priest,
Because my Gods have afflicted me!

Medi/Eval

My privy and well drain into each other
After the custom of Christendie. . . .
Fevers and fluxes are wasting my mother.
Why has the Lord afflicted me?
The Saints are helpless for all I offer–
So are the clergy I used to fee.
Henceforward I keep my cash in my coffer,
Because the Lord has afflicted me.

Material

I run eight hundred hens to the acre
They die by dozens mysteriously. . . .
I am more than doubtful concerning my Maker,
Why has the Lord afflicted me?
What a return for all my endeavour–
Not to mention the L. S. D!
I am an atheist now and for ever,
Because this God has afflicted me!

Progressive

Money spent on an Army or Fleet
Is homicidal lunacy. . . .
My son has been killed in the Mons retreat,
Why is the Lord afflicting me?
Why are murder, pillage and arson
And rape allowed by the Deity?
I will write to the Times, deriding our parson
Because my God has afflicted me.

Chorus

We had a kettle: we let it leak:
Our not repairing it made it worse.
We haven’t had any tea for a week. . .
The bottom is out of the Universe!

Conclusion

This was none of the good Lord’s pleasure,
For the Spirit He breathed in Man is free;
But what comes after is measure for measure,
And not a God that afflicteth thee.
As was the sowing so the reaping
Is now and evermore shall be.
Thou art delivered to thine own keeping.
Only Thyself hath afflicted thee!

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