Random Conversations with LightChildren
May 31st, 2007 by Sonja

With the evaluation out of the way, I’m somewhat more relaxed now and able to have more conversations with LightChildren which are not some form of “You should be doing school because we are so far behind it will take multiple lifetimes to catch up.” Or some other such nonsense that comes out of my over-achieving mouth.  They were far more reasonable and healthy about the whole thing.  I really need to take more cues from them sometimes.

In any case, LightGirl has joined me at Curves.  I was not certain I would welcome the imposition on “my” time at first.  But I’ve come to enjoy the conversations we have in the car there and back again.  I also enjoy seeing her take on more and more of herself in these venues.  A recent car conversation was a little unsettling however.  It began like this, “Mom, did you ever find out that a guy you’d had a crush on for ages was a jerk just about the time he started paying attention to you?”  “Hmmm,”  I responded, “I don’t really remember if that happened.  If it did, it didn’t make a big impression on me.  Why do you ask?”  “Well … GoalieGuy was getting dressed in the hallway yesterday when we came out of our lockerroom.  He put his hands on his pants and asked if anyone wanted to see his p****.” (and yes, she used the anatomically correct term, as apparently, did he)  She was not entirely certain if this was funny or jerky behavior or a mixture of both.  Neither was I.  I told her she might want to give him a second chance because middle school guys are sometimes known to do weird and awkward things to get attention.  She agreed with that.  Later on I did suggest that she might want to begin to carry around a 6″ ruler.  Then she could whip it out if he ever does that again and say something like, “Hey, I need to measure that.  I’m doing some field testing for a homeschool biology class.”  She thought that was pretty funny and might put an end to the jerky behavior.

Last night LightBoy and I stopped in at 31-derful Flavors to order the cake for his long delayed birthday party.  It will happen this weekend.  We were with LightHusband.  He had to run along to pick LightGirl up at the rink, so it happened that LightBoy and I walked home from the ice cream store.  It wasn’t far and it was a pleasant evening to stroll along with an ice cream cone.  LightBoy picked the darkest chocolatiest ice cream they had.  For those of you who know him IRL, he’s not a particularly neat eater.  So he had a nice ring of chocolate around his mouth which prompted me to say, “Hey did you get any IN your mouth?”  He giggled.  And we walked on.  Pretty soon he said, “Mom, I’ve got something for your ‘Strange Facts About Kids Book’.”  “Oh yeah?” I replied.  “Yeah … Kids walking along the street with ice cream around their mouths makes adults happy.”  he said.  “Oh … really,” I said,  “but adults walking along the street with ice cream around their mouths …”   “… makes other adults nauseous.” he finished the sentence for me.  “Don’t worry Mom.  You have skin colored ice cream.”  (well that was a HUGE relief … that and the fact that I have learned in the past year or so to eat my ice cream without making a mess, but don’t tell LightBoy).  I very nearly fell out laughing, but of course, could not because … well … he was so serious about the whole thing.

This is a good age.  Good conversations.  Interesting conversations.  Now if they would only stop bickering ….

Relief
May 28th, 2007 by Sonja

Ahhhh … I could use a beer right now.  Or something cold and delicious.  Or something chocolate.  Or really anything rewarding.

We’ve had another successful year of homeschooling.  Coach came today and evaluated the LightChildren and our homeschool (Osgiliath Classical School).  We passed with flying colors.  In fact, he said, “I wish I could bring other families out here and give clinics.  You have a healthy family and a healthy school.”

I’m feeling very relieved and just a little smug.

It won’t last long … we still have a lot of work to do for this academic year.  We’re quite behind.  But for now I will bask in the glow of a job well done.

I learned two things today.  The first is the vast difference between how I face evaluations and how the LightChildren face them.  They have a much healthier attitude towards it.  I’m glad; it’s one thing that I wanted them to get out education that I did not.  The other was a primer on how to do records of high school and how to think outside of the box so that a study of fabric dying can become a class on Textile Design and Production.  Yeah, buddy!  I’m lovin’ that …

Now we’re off to a Memorial Day cookout and swim at PlusOneFriend’s house.  Oh, what a relief it is …

Borderlands
May 27th, 2007 by Sonja

I read somewhere, recently and I can’t remember where, that we exist mostly in the borderlands between chaos and order. We live in that tension between the two. If our world were to slip into complete chaos, well, everything would fall out of place and fly around. But, alternatively, if we lived in a perfectly ordered world where nothing ever went wrong that, too would have it’s own set of problems. The writer used the allegory of a waterfall with the smooth pool at the top to symbolize order and jumbled mess at the bottom to symbolize chaos, but it’s that rhythmic pulse of water falling in the middle that we live in … those borderlands. Where things are always just barely in order and always almost slipping out of our hands.

I loved that analogy. It really helped me to think through my life and see my house more clearly. I’ve been working my way through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I’m doing it for a number of reasons. I started because my psychiatrist recommended it. But he recommended it because I found a website of an old friend and the website made me jealous. Well, jealous is not quite the right word for it. It wakened old dreams and sent them surging up to the top of the pool again. I told my psychiatrist about this website and my friend and how focussed my friend seemed and how scattered I seem. That was the moment when I got a doctor’s note to quit my day job (such as it is) and begin quilting. To focus on that as who I am. He also recommended this book. It’s the first self-help book which has made sense to me. I have many of them. Too many, perhaps. But this one — this one fits me.

It’s encouraging me to do some other things. Things like haul out my books and begin to design a Native American quilt that I’ve wanted to do for several years. Begin to write some longer pieces of more fictional writing. Begin to take Arabic. Begin to do some biblical research on some questions I have about some women in ministry issues. In other words, begin to live my life again. Pick up where I left off before the conservative church got ahold of me 17 years ago and tried to fit my round peg into their square hole … for no other reason than that the conservative church is afraid of chaos.

What I learned there is that the conservative church lives not in the borderlands, but in fear. The conservative church seems to believe that in order to be in “God’s will” they must swim to the pool at the top of the waterfall. Or manipulate conditions such that they manage to live in that pool. But reality in this life and this world dictates that we live inside the waterfall itself. If you have ever sat near a waterfall and watched it for any length of time, you will begin to notice that there is a rhythm and rhyme to the falling water. There is beauty there. The falling water can be predicted and controlled to a certain extent.

So, for me … I am learning how to love God and my neighbor from within the waterfall. What will that look like? What is my waterfall going to be? Where are my borderlands? Have I told you that I love a good swim …

Amazing Grace
May 26th, 2007 by Sonja

Here is a video from the Estes Park Highland Festival in Estes Park, Colorado.

LightHusband and I have both performed at this in the past with our respective fife & drum corps. I just want you to know that there is nothing in this world quite like hearing massed pipes playing “Amazing Grace” 15 feet behind you. I used to sob out loud during the whole thing. To this day I can barely sing the song because of this experience … it was just that amazing.

Lord of the Rings
May 26th, 2007 by Sonja

… even better than what Star Wars character is what LOTR character am I? oooohhhhh … I could hardly wait to find out. I’m a much bigger fan of LOTR than of Star Wars. Thanks to Lyn/Frodo who led the way.

What LoTR Character Are You?

You are most like Gandalf. You are very smart for your age, but don’t get too proud. With that great brain of yours, you have a tendency to over-analyze stuff. Life isn’t as difficult as you think it is. You have a great sense of responsibility to care for others, and that’s good! Just make sure you don’t neglect yourself in the process.

I think I’m seeing a trend here … and it’s kind of funny. Funny-haha and funny-weird as my GrampyO would have said. But I supposed I ought not to place too much emphasis on these silly character tests.

Love and Peace or Else
May 24th, 2007 by Sonja

I’ve been reading a book on parenting called Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. Actually, I’m pretty much finished with it now. It’s quite good. It’s really a guide to help parents understand how they can gradually put more and more responsibility for a teen’s behavior onto that teen. It’s a delicate balance and more difficult to achieve than you might think. It is difficult to love someone and yet allow them to accept painful consequences for bad decisions. This is difficult to even think about. But it’s been on my mind lately as I’ve had some conversations with LightGirl about issues like drinking and sex outside of marriage. These are issues that I have choices to make as I talk to her about them. I can make rules and forbid her from doing them. Of course, drinking alcohol is also illegal until she is a certain age. The problem is that when I make those rules, I put both of us in a really bad place. I put her in a place where she feels as though she must test the water and the boundaries I have set. I put myself in a place where I must eternally police those boundaries and that water. It’s bad for both of us. And it does nothing to nurture or grow our relationship.

In the last day or so, John Smulo posted about a recent Resolution passed by the Southern Baptist Convention concerning the use of alcohol by their members. I got to thinking about the resolution in light of the book I’ve just read on parenting. There are many styles of parenting. And there are many styles of living in community together. And there are many styles of relating to God. But somehow I think these are all intertwined with one another. I am coming to believe that the way we parent and look to parents is a reflection of how we interact with God and how we look to God.

For me, I believe that whether or not one drinks alcohol is a matter of personal preference. The consequences will be born by that person. God is going to love me no matter what, but it’s going to be painful for him to watch me go through that hangover. In the same way, if LightGirl chooses to drink when it’s not in her best interests, it’s going to make me very sad. It will be painful for me to watch her bear whatever the consequences are of that choice, but I will still love her. I’m going to give her lots of information, tools, and support to make good decisions. But they are ultimately her decisions … because it is ultimately her life, not mine. But she and I are in loving community with one another. We talk, we wrestle with these decisions. She knows I love her and have her best interests at heart and she has mine.

So, I wonder sometimes, about institutions and entities who feel that more rules will help these sorts of issues. I’ve come to believe that rules are put in place when community is lacking. Rules must be established when people feel they can no longer speak to one another face to face. Regulations and resolutions must be passed because it is no longer individuals who count but standards which must be upheld. Where there are laws, there does not need to be community, there only needs to be a police force … and life becomes more and more stark.

Shavuot – Feast of Pentecost
May 22nd, 2007 by Sonja

A very long time ago, in what seems as though it must have been another lifetime, I taught a womans Adult Christian Education Class at our CLB1. I taught on the books of Ruth and Esther. I began my planning with a reading of the stories in the Bible, but quickly knew that I needed some supporting material. I got some light reading (Lucado, Wiersbe, etc.) on my own, but asked our youth pastor/friend/mentor for some recommendations. He gave me the hard stuff. The Word Biblical Commentary, volume 9 by Frederic W. Bush. Whew … that’ll make your hair curl.

Thus began my first encounter with Biblical Hebrew. I skipped over a lot of it. At first. But then I began stumbling through the parts that dealt with the verbs and the tenses … and it seemed unintelligible. And I hated it. It was a discipline. But slowly it began to make a certain amount of sense to me. And I began to understand the book of Ruth at a whole other level that had never been available to me before. This was a story that I have always loved. It is a beautiful romance tucked in the midst of ashes and but now it has been cut and polished for me like a raw jewel.

As I fought my way through studying and presenting this material to my class, I grew to love Ruth even more. I also learned quite a bit about some of the traditions that have grown up around the story in the intervening several thousand years since it happened. I learned that the megillah (or scroll) of Ruth is read during the Feast of Pentecost or First Fruits. This is the Feast which celebrates the harvest and which celebrates the giving of the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai to the Hebrews. It is the feast which commemorates God making a commitment to live in community with His people forever.

So, why, might you ask, is this book about a foreign girl coming to Israel read during this feast? Well … the answer lies in many places. The first lies in Ruth’s declaration to Naomi early on in the story, “Where ever you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God Your land will be my land.” She gives up everything about herself, to become a nobody in a strange land and take care of her mother-in-law. It is a gorgeous picture of love in the face of adversity. It is also a foreshadowing of who Jesus is and who He calls us to be and it sets up the story to present to us the concept of chesed.

Chesed is a Hebrew word for which there is no precise English translation. The best we can come up with is covenental loyalty in the context of merciful lovingkindness … which is, to say … a mouthful! It is an aspect of God for which we do not have a very good lens. But we do have the book of Ruth, which is replete with pictures of what chesed looks and acts like. Chesed is found in Ruth’s declaration to Naomi in Ruth 1:15-16; then when Ruth follows through on that declaration we see chesed in action. Chesed is found in Boaz’s loving care and commitment to Ruth and Naomi throughout the harvest season and in the fact that he would chose Ruth (a Moabite) and work to marry her, when he might have passed her off on to another relative or ignored her altogether.

So, indeed this is a fitting story to tell on the anniversary each year that we celebrate the giving of the Ten Commandments. It is about more than the Commandments. It’s about God and His desire to live in community with us. He limited himself, and gave of himself in order to hang with us.

Here is the cool thing about Shavuot. The Jewish community celebrates this as a commemoration of the giving of the covenant; the beginning of their relationship with God. The Christian community also celebrates Pentecost and we both use the same name. We celebrate this day as a commemoration of the giving of the new covenant; the Holy Spirit. On Sinai we were given the Law, but after the crucifixion and resurrection, on the same day we were given the Holy Spirit to continue our redemptive, covenental, merciful relationship with God.

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

1When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

5Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. 6When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. 7Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? 8Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? 9Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome 11 (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs-we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” 12Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

Shavuot begins this evening at sunset. It is these moments which cause me to reflect that our separate religions might just be a human construct and not divine. It brings to mind the Eastern Orthodox tenet that I can only know where I might find God, I do not know where S/He is not. So, whether you are Jewish or Christian, I pray you spend the next day or so reveling in a God who ripped the seams of time to be with us. Here are some thoughts that are pertinent to Pentecost from other bloggers.

First … read about moving from desolation to consolation at emerging sideways. It is a wonderful picture of redemption and provision like the story of Ruth, or the Hebrews. Desolation and consolation.

Second … read the story of Ruth again here at Velveteen Rabbi with a little bit of commentary. Beautiful.

Last … here is a poem from Rachel Barenblatt at Velveteen Rabbi to prepare you for Shavuot … it’s really quite lovely:

LONGING

I’m thirsty for davening
in this gritty desert
of car wrecks and cell phones.
Every person killed
anywhere
keeps the promised land
blocked to our passage.

Who knows the path
to short-circuit
this wandering?
Some days manna falls
but others we’re back
to toil, scratching
like chickens in the dirt.

If I was there at Sinai
to sign the ketubah
God offered, black fire
on white, most days
I don’t remember.
Everyone forgets the unity
we started with.

This year
when our anniversary comes,
God, I want to stay up
all night
to feel the letters
traveling up my hands
into my heart.

I want to sing holy at dawn
with the birds
in the willow behind shul
who open and close each day
with praise.

Comcast Sucks!
May 21st, 2007 by Sonja

Last Tuesday (May 15) I closed the lid on my trusty laptop at about 11 p.m. and went to bed.  As far as I know that was the last time we had a highspeed internet connection in this house.  When I awoke and finished writing my morning pages at about 7:15 on Wednesday morning our internet connection was gone.  We have not gotten it back since.  The following is a chronicle of our interactions with the (un)helpful people who have answered the customer service phone (888-205-500) at Comcast.  The “I” refers to LightHusband … he has had the unmitigated pleasure of dealing with these jackanapes.  Just remember as you read this that we pay ~$150 per month for a business account.  This ensures rapid response when our service is down.  It is to laugh.

Lost Internet early Wednesday (before 0700), note left from Comcast that service disruption (“a few hours”) could be expected as they install fiber-optic lines in our neighborhood.

Called Thursday, 17 May, in the morning:

– Told that a Technician would be dispatched 1:00 – 5:00 (no show)

Called Friday, 18 May, 8:30am:

– Told that a Technician would be dispatched 11:00 – 2:00 (no show)

Called Friday, 18 May, 1:55pm:

– Told ticket was from 11:00 – 3:00 (still no show)

Called Friday, 18 May, 2:55pm:

– Told that they couldn’t reach dispatch and that my case would be elevated to “tier 2″… told that supervisor would be calling shortly (never received a call)

Called Friday, 18 May, 3:25pm:

– Told that it was sent to “escalation department”… supervisor would be calling shortly (never received a call)

Called Friday, 18 May, 3:50pm:

– Told that he was “walking it over to his supervisor” (put on hold… call dropped)

Called Friday, 18 May, 4:00pm:

– Told that there was “no record of the case being elevated” but that he was escalating it now. Then he said that “I’m showing that there is a tech on site now”. I assured him that I was standing in the street in front of my business and that there was no tech on site. Then I was told that local supervisor would be calling shortly. (never received a call)

Called Friday, 18 May, 5:10pm:

– Told that “every time you called today, the person taking the call backed your ticket out of the escalation queue because they were all received at different offices”. Told that “someone from the local office will contact you soon to set up an appointment”. (never received a call)

Called Monday, 21 May, 7:30am:

– Talked to “Mark in the main office”. He said that he was going to escalate the ticket from “his side” (it had not yet been escalated from “his side” before). He told me to expect a call back with a couple of hours.

Called Monday, 21 May, 9:30am:

– Talked to Bill… put on hold while he contacted the local dispatch. Told that “the phone wasn’t hooked up at the local dispatch and that’s why they never received my ticket”. I asked for the name of the local supervisor and was told that “he didn’t get his name”. Asked for the address or phone number of the local office and was told that he didn’t know. Then he said that the local dispatch “knows that I’ve been without service for a while and that he’d send someone right away”.

Received call Monday, 21 May, 1:10pm:

– Received call from Upgrade Department telling me that the reason that I had no connectivity was because they were doing work in the area. She went on to say that I should be connected in the evenings and on weekends. When I explained to her that we had absolutely NO connectivity at any time, she told me that an “inside technician” would need to be dispatched, but that the technician couldn’t work while her team was doing their upgrade. When I asked her how long I could anticipate being down, she told me that there was no way for her to tell, but that it affected other businesses in my area as well.

Called Monday, 21 May, 1:20pm:

– Talked to Brian… He assured me that a tech was due between 11:00am and 2:00pm today. He told me that the reason that we never received service on Friday was because it was marked on the system as completed.

Called Monday, 21 May, 2:10pm:

– Talked to Richard… put on hold while he talked with a supervisor. Told that “Eric the supervisor” would be calling me within 30 minutes. (Never called)

Called Monday, 21 May, 4:10pm:

– Talked to Latrice. She said that Eric did enter notes on my ticket. He stated that the local dispatch has been canceling work orders on my node because of outages due to the ongoing upgrade work. I stated that I had already spoken with an upgrade supervisor and was told that I should be up on the weekend and after business hours. When I told her that I had ZERO connectivity since last Tuesday, she put me on hold to talk to local dispatch again. When she came back, she told me that I could speak with Eric (her supervisor)… Eric told me that local dispatch had been canceling trouble tickets because they were performing work on my node today. I asked why my three appointments on Thursday and Friday got dropped without explanation, and he told me that he would speak with local dispatch and call me back. I also read to Eric the notice that was left on our office door last Wednesday morning telling us that there was ongoing upgrade work going on in my area and tht we should be prepared for service interruptions, but that “they would not exceed one day”. I then asked for a technician to at least come and test my line from the street to my router. He reiterated that he would speak with local dispatch and call me back.

Received call Monday, 21 May, 6:15pm:

– Received call from Eric telling me that local dispatch was sending a truck tonight to check the outside lines. If that didn’t resolve the issue, they would be sending a tech in the morning.

Star Wars Characters?
May 21st, 2007 by Sonja

As everyone knows, I love to keep up with the Jones’ … so in the interest of keeping up with the latest blogology quiz, I’ve decided to reveal my “Star Wars Character:” Obi Wan Kenobi

This is decidedly hilarious for me on so many levels that I cannot even begin to tell you about. It makes me laugh and laugh and laugh deep in my heart. But especially funny for me (the homeschooling mom), in particular, is the last sentence of the description: “Now if only you could get your padawans to listen to you.”

You scored as Obi-Wan Kenobi. One of the last jedi knights. People find you to be a bit aloof, but you know you travel the honorable path and that is all that matters. Now if only you could get your padawans to listen to you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi
 
81%
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
 
75%
Yoda
 
69%
Darth Maul
 
63%
Leia Organa
 
63%
Han Solo
 
56%
Padme Amidala
 
50%
Boba Fett
 
38%
Luke Skywalker
 
38%
Palpatine
 
25%

Which Star Wars character would you be? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

HT – Paul

It Was The Best Of Times …
May 21st, 2007 by Sonja

I’ve been wanting to write this post for several days. But lack of internet connection and my general inability to maintain a course of action has gotten in my way. There was one very special thing we did when LightHusband and I were out in Colorado. I had to keep it to myself for a while, because it was magical and special and I wasn’t to certain about how to write about it. Then our internet went down and life sped up. So now that we have dial-up (poo) I am able to write again.

The special thing we did was that we got to meet some friends from on-line, in the brick and mortar world. Now they are friends IRL. We drove from Estes Park where we were staying, up through the Big Thompson Canyon (which is a magical drive all to itself) and through Loveland, into Fort Collins, Colorado. Via our NeverLost companion we found their apartment and met Makeesha and David Fisher and their two lovely young daughters. I’ve gotten to know them via a couple of e-mail lists I’m on and through the blog-o-sphere during the last 6 or 7 months.

They showed us their home town via a wonderful old timey trolley that we walked to. We rode the trolley to downtown Old Ft. Collins. This part of town really reminded us of Burlington, Vermont and we felt right at home. We felt at home with Makeesha and David too. Their girls were are really wonderful. They joyfully walked and talked for great long distances with us adults without complaining or whining.

It was really wonderful to have people who I’ve known in the two-dimensional virtual world step into the three dimensional brick and mortar world. Walking up the stairs to their apartment almost felt like a fairy tale … you know the one? Where the main character becomes real and pops off the page. I wanted to soak up every moment of the day; make it stretch out and last. Because it was just one day and they don’t live around the corner. It’s going to be a terribly long time before we get to see them again.

And having to say good-bye at the end of the day made it the worst of times.

Shayel & David Aliyah

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