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Some Things Make Me Want To Fight

There’s a new blogger in the circle. She’s been commenting here and there. She’s brave to join in with us. Her name is Che and she hails from BC (as in British Columbia). She wrote a piece recently about regaining the rights to her identity. It’s quite good and worth the time to read. In it, she writes about the tension of daring to step out of the mold of being “nice” for it’s own sake and being herself yet being well-mannered. Not being a doormat anymore. I’m not sure quite what it was that she said, but something tickled the back of my mind and sent me on a hunt.

I didn’t have to hunt far.

Good old Merriam-Webster had what I was looking for. The etymology of the word “nice.” Here it is:

NICE – Etymology: Middle English, foolish, wanton, from Anglo-French, silly, simple, from Latin nescius ignorant, from nescire not to know

Well … now … that’s just super. All my life I’ve been told to be a nice girl. I’m not alone in this. All of us women have been told this.

“Nice girls don’t smoke.” “Nice girls don’t drive like that.” “Nice girls don’t … ” fill in the blank … OR

“Nice girls wear dresses to such and such.” “Nice girls don’t wear swimsuits like that.” “Nice girls …. fill in the blank.”

So … really … what we’ve all been told for a couple of generations now was … foolish, silly, simple, ignorant girls blah, blah, blah … We’ve been told that the best our women should aspire to was to be foolish, silly, simple and ignorant.

If ever I’ve heard a curse word I believe “nice” is one. I’m so fucking pissed … I could just spit. And I’m NOT going to be nice.

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This entry was written by Sonja and posted on August 15, 2007 at 5:00 pm and filed under lost in translation, women. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

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11 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. How can this not bring to mind the Dixie Chicks? “I’m not ready to make nice/ I’m not ready to back down/ I’m mad as hell and I don’t have time/ to go round and round and round”

    1. agma on August 18th, 2007 at 8:44 am

  2. I totally agree!! Being nice is so exhausting!! It is too much work and only leaves your mind feeling dull from not being yourself or saying what truly needed to be said and done. When I try too hard to be nice I forget that the truth is almost never nice, but it is what brings change and helps us shed the lies.

    2. Desiree' on August 17th, 2007 at 11:53 pm

  3. exactly. you rock.

    3. Julie Clawson on August 16th, 2007 at 10:24 am

  4. I gave up being nice ages ago! Ditto what Mak wrote.

    4. lyn on August 16th, 2007 at 7:56 am

  5. Reminds me of Matthew 12:46ff

    While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

    But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

    Jesus was loving. But he wasn’t really a nice boy. Not a tame lion, so to speak. Course, he did get crucified.

    But also resurrected, so it works out in the long run.

    5. Patrick on August 16th, 2007 at 2:12 am

  6. LOL – What Mak said! Amen!

    6. Erin on August 16th, 2007 at 12:11 am

  7. you know what happens when you are freed from being “nice”? you get bold, strong, creative, inspired, kind, generous. you release your hidden genius. you evolve, stretch, grow. You SHINE. And what happens when you shine? people get really really pissed off for waking them up. but does that bother you? no, because you’re not nice any more ;)

    7. Makeesha on August 15th, 2007 at 11:49 pm

  8. Hey!!
    That’s me!
    I just went to your site to read your daily article, and Lo an Behold….you are mentioning me!
    Wow.
    It sounds like you get it, this cursed ‘nice’ thing.
    When I was growing up, we were told to be nice, don’t fight back, keep your mouth shut, blah, blah, blah.
    Well, no more Ms. Nice Girl.
    But kind…loving…accepting…encouraging…YES!

    Your blog is very encouraging to me. Thanks for visiting mine.

    8. Che V. on August 15th, 2007 at 9:36 pm

  9. LOL … I have already “confessed” my “sin” ;-)

    And … uhhhh … no! I haven’t found that emoticon yet. Consarnit! hehehe

    9. Sonja on August 15th, 2007 at 6:08 pm

  10. Oh and “nice” girls don’t cuss. Maybe I’m not so “nice” anymore.

    10. Erin on August 15th, 2007 at 5:51 pm

  11. Find that middle-finger emoticon yet? Hehe.

    11. Erin on August 15th, 2007 at 5:51 pm