“Well … I was!”  That’s what BlazingEwe said to me yesterday as she tried on my dress.  “I didn’t think my butt would fit in that dress.”

“I knew it would.” I assured her.  As is usual for us, we were sharing clothes in a fashion emergency.

What could possibly be a fashion emergency for two 40+ suburban moms with not too much on our minds?

I’ll tell you what.

Last minute tickets to an inaugural ball … that’s what.

BossManDan gave LightHusband his four tickets to the Texas State Society Black Tie and Boots Inaugural Ball.  As a lifelong Republican, he would not be very interested in celebrating the inauguration this year.  But he knew we would be, so he gave the tickets to us.  Yippee!  He’s a very good friend.

It’s a fashion emergency because neither of BlazingEwe nor I have ever been to a black tie affair.   Never anticipated it either.  So neither of us happen to have a ball gown hanging in our closets.  We also happen to have a certain zaftig, curvy … full-blown figure.  Hers is more hour-glass or pear-shaped.  I’m more of the apple variety.  Together, we make a nice fruit salad with our nutty husbands.

Generally speaking, we’re not so happy about this state of affairs.  But we’re not so unhappy that we’d actually do anything more than complain to each other about it.  Most days we can find clothes that we like and feel beautiful in.  This day was not that day.  Just try finding ball gowns for a certain zaftig figure …

They make polyester, shiny flour sacks and put a few baubles on them.  And charge about $200 for them.  To make you look fatter than you already are.  Don’t even fool yourself that anyone will make a silk gown in that certain size.  What kind of fool are you to think you can be zaftig AND beautiful AND dress in silk?

Being beautiful is only for thin folks.  As the saying goes … you can never be too rich or too thin.

But I tend to be stubborn and willful and have this insane desire to tilt at windmills.  Reading Don Quixote in Spanish in 11th grade didn’t help.  So I decided to make my dress.  And I am.  I found some gorgeous emerald green dupioni and a beautiful matching print silk organza.  I might even have time to make LightHusband a matching green bowtie to wear with his tuxedo.

But what would BlazingEwe wear?  Then I remembered the dress I’d bought for the company Christmas party and never worn (because it was too much and my back was in full spasm by then).  It had shown up on the “evening gown” page of the on-line store where I’d purchased it.  But it was not evening gown material for me … I’m too tall and it would not be long enough.  BlazingEwe though?  She tried it on and sure enough.  It fit.

I’m thinking though about this dearth of beautiful clothing made from natural fibers for larger women.  It might be a windmill worth tilting at.